Monday, October 3, 2011

Baby Steps

"How can I go forward when I don't know which way I'm facing?" - John Lennon

That's definitely how I've been feeling lately. My head, heart, and gut are pulling me in all different directions, and I'm not Gumby. I'm just in such a strange place where I've realized I'm not really doing what makes me happiest, but don't really know how to (or know how and just can't) get where I want to be.

via Pinterest



















I need to come alive. I used to volunteer with organizations I was truly devoted to, read for hours on end, and spend as much time as possible outdoors. And I used to think I had the best job in the world. Looking back at the last few years, when I started struggling with my health is when I stopped volunteering or doing the things I loved. I left my amazing job. I lost my passion for life and my path got crossed with some crazy, OCD, stressed out girl's path.

When I spoke to my dad on the telephone today and asked him how he was doing, he said "poor, but happy." And I know he was telling the truth. He bikes and gardens and only spends time with the people he wants to. He lives by his values. I wish I could have that.

Considering my dad is in his 50's and much wiser than me, I know he's worked hard to find the balance he has. I guess I am going to just have to start with some baby steps and try to find small bits of inspiration to get me going again. So far:

  • I'm almost done making my "25 before 25" list (like these).
  • I'm challenging myself to the Seven Day Push and will try to improve slowly (1 week at a time)
  • I signed up for a volunteer orientation at the Peace Learning Center!

Hopefully the stars will align and everything will just fall into place. I don't want to be Wonder Woman, I just want to know I am on a good path in life and that I am helping others.

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